Practicing Positivity in Preparation for the Fall (and every other day)

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

 

I really hate to be the bearer of bad news...honestly I don't even want to say this out loud, but...*whispers* summer is almost over.


Though fall brings out some of the dopest style and the perfect-ish weather, unfortunately for some of us, fall is the start to what we know to be seasonal depression.


When we experience seasonal depression, it can be really challenging to 1) pinpoint why you are not feeling like yourself and 2) stay positive. Whether you're starting to not feel like yourself, or if you are just not the happiest that you could possibly be, here are a few tips on how to become happier and more positive every day:


Do not settle for “just good enough.”

When it comes to becoming happier and more positive each day it's important to make sure that you are not settling for just good enough. What do I mean by this? Let me give you a few examples and then we can discuss more:


  1. Your job pays the bills, but it’s not your passion in life, or enjoyable in the slightest bit. It stresses you out, you work more than you should, and your co-workers are not exactly “easy” to get along with. It pays the bills, though, so you stick with it, even though you are not truly fulfilled, or you might even dread going into the office each day. Yall know that I quit my job this year to pursue full-time entrepreneurship, so I am a HUGE advocate for not staying in a job that is no longer serving you.

  2. Your relationship has seen better days and you are really struggling with communication, but you are hesitant to go to counseling because it is really hard to admit that you actually need help. Going to counseling could make things much better, but since things are still “not terrible” now, you hold off.

  3. A painter comes to paint the exterior of your home. You pay over $5,000 for the project, but when they leave, you notice that they missed quite a few spots on the very bottom, close to the foundation. Since it is only slightly noticeable to you and probably not to others, you just shrug it off.


These are a few good examples of how you could be settling. I could go on and on, but you get the point. Settling for something less than you deserve is not helping you at all. Instead, it is hurting you significantly, and more than likely, it is weighing down on your shoulders, affecting your mental (and maybe) physical health, as well. Stop settling for “just good enough” and really go for every single thing you deserve in life.


Look for the good in each situation.

I get it - it’s really hard to look for the good in every single situation, especially when you are having a bad day, but sometimes, to become more happy and positive, all you need to do is switch up your mindset. It’s very easy to pick out the bad things that happen to you. You burned your toast this morning, spilled your water at work, or a friend cancelled your dinner plans at the very last minute. However, if you change how you view these situations, you could choose to see the positives. Now that your toast is burned, you get to stop by your favorite breakfast spot. You spilled your water? It is only water! Now you get a fresh, cold glass. A friend cancelled dinner on you? Take the night to yourself and watch your favorite movie with a bowl of popcorn! Even when a situation is really tough, or if the weight of the world seems to be resting on your shoulders, there is a way to find a positive outlook on things.



Make a change - for the better.

When you are feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with your life, sometimes all you need is a change. This could be something as simple as removing toxic relationships from your life, leaving a dead end job, cutting your hair - or it could be something bigger such as getting rid of any furniture that brings up bad memories, or even moving to a new home, city, or country! Whether you are getting rid of furniture or actually moving, you’ll probably want help with the job, right?!


If you are local to NC, check out College Dudes Help U Move. They do furniture moving in Charlotte, residential moves in Charlotte, commercial moves, packing, storage, hot tub moving, safe moving, and SO much more. They are fully licensed and insured, so you can rest easy, knowing that your items are in good care. They say, “We are a team of Locally educated, hard working movers that truly understand the passion and commitment it takes to execute a move of any size at any given time to meet our customers needs and expectations. With a laser focus on Customer Service, Safety, and Technology we bring the most competitive pricing and reliable moving solutions to our community.”



Treat your body as a temple, but enjoy life too.

Last but not least, treat your body as a temple, but enjoy life too. Your physical health affects your mental health and vice-versa. Exercise when you can, eat food that is good to you, and try to remove unnecessary toxins from your life. As you begin your health journey, if you have not already started, keep in mind that life is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t get so wrapped up in living a “clean” and healthy life that you forget to LIVE.


Know that you are good enough!

No matter how you choose to define happiness, short-term or long-term, comparison will rob you of it. You are more than good enough. You do not need to compare yourself to your friends or those you follow on social media! Be grateful for what you have, appreciate who you are, work hard every day to live YOUR best life, and stop comparing yourself to others. Remember this always: you are MORE than good enough, and you are deserving of every good and perfect thing that God has for you.





Frolicking: Asheville Travel Guide

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

 

    SUMMA, SUMMA SUMMATIME! Oh summer, how I've missed thee. This past weekend, I took my first summer trip with my girls - we roadtripped to Asheville, NC. Whether you are going on a baecation or planning a fun weekend with friends, I'm so excited to give you some suggestions to help you plan your Asheville Adventure.

HOTEL ACCOMODATIONS:

AC Hotel Asheville Downtown This hotel was locating in the PERFECT spot. We were able to walk to 90% of the places in this travel guide in less than 10 minutes! There's a restaurant/bar on the rooftop that I would definitely suggest you visit (especially for the view of Asheville from Capella on 9).

FOOD RECOMMENDATIONS:

Curate| If you love tapas like we do, you DEFINITELY have to go to Curate while you're in Asheville! MAKE A RESERVATION because they are an Asheville fave and the chances of getting in without one are slim. Please get the Gambas al Ajillo, Albondigas and the Patatas Bravas!

Mountain Madre | The margarita and tequila flights here?! LISTEN. Not to mention their queso was amazing and the enchiladas were mouth watering!

Biscuit Head | You wanna talk about range? The way they have reWERKED the biscuit game...whew! My suggestion is to call in your order for takeout and find a cute spot outdoors or go back to your hotel to enjoy because they're always packed out the door.

Isa's French Bistro | Okay, so the food here isn't GREAT; but they have mimosa flights....'nuff said.

Crave Dessert Bar | This place is a viiiiibe! They have drinks, hookah AND food. The outdoor patio is super cute at night!


DRANKS:

Wicked Weed Brewing Pub | Another vibe! It gives very much "beer garden" vibes. It's mostly outdoor and the playlist was hittin' as we enjoyed beer flights and some bomb wings!

Imperial | We went back here TWICE. The drinks were heavy and the quesabirria tacos, yall???? Listen. If you go, ask for Terrell - he was such a great server! 



EXPLORE:

Catawba Falls | If you plan to do something active during your trip, this trail is beautiful. It gets a bit challenging, but the view makes up for it!

Self Care Is An Act of Freedom

Friday, March 19, 2021

 


I recently experienced what I have started calling "Freedom Day." Freedom Day has now replaced a traditional self-care day for me. I'm not even sure if I will be able to capture the joy from that day in this post, but I definitely want to try so that you can plan your own!


I use the word "plan" loosely, because for some reason, I wasn't able to create an "itinerary" for this day. And y'all know me, lol - if I don't do anything else, ima have a plan! I just couldn't do it. I knew I was going to be checking into Aloft Durham Downtown and I knew that I was going to get a massage, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't decide what else I wanted to do for this day.



 Here's what I learned in my inability to create a plan:

What I learned is that I am allowed to be free from the burden and pressures of structure. I don't have to be anxious in the absence of a plan. I can [and am allowed to] have joyful experiences - I can choose to explore rather than stick to an itinerary.



So! In the absence of a plan, here are some of the things I did and places I explored:

- Put my phone on DND and turned off all of my social notifications (they're still off).

- Received a 90 minute massage from Susan at Bull City Massage Therapy. Those 90 minutes felt much more like five, but my body needed every second!

- Checked into Aloft Durham Downtown! Yall. They gave me the BEST room with the BEST views of Downtown Durham. The sweet staff (special shoutout to Chelsea, Wesley and Ronnie!) made sure that I was taken care of - from the perfect room, to the strongest drinks and a late check-out time for extra relaxation time...I literally can't wait to go back! If you're planning your own freedom day, Aloft is a 10/10 recommendation.


- Took pictures of the most random and beautiful things so that I could look back and feel the peace from this incredible day!

- Had lunch at Dames, got my favorite salted butter caramel icecream from The Parlour and danced in the park as if no one was watching.

It was a beautiful day and you deserve to have that type of day too! You deserve a freedom day. I want you to be free from the pressure of "planning" for this day, so here are 3 tips to have the experience you deserve:

  1. Allow yourself to wander. Even if you create a plan for the day, don't be married to it. Give yourself the space to explore where you are.
  2. Disconnect. Turn off your social notifications, put your phone on DND, etc. Let this day be just for YOU. Don't feel obligated to answer phone calls or text back - everyone/thing will be okay. 
  3. Walk around. Park your car and walk everywhere! Eliminate the barrier between you and the beauty around you - be willing to take it in and capture it (whether through an actual picture or a mental photo).

The way I view self-care has changed as a result of experiencing this day. I now know that self-care is an act of freedom. It's almost other-worldly. It's radical. It's selfish and it ought to be.

Go enjoy your self. 



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Affirmation of the Week

“You have always been a blessed thing, and goodness has no trouble finding you because goodness is what you deserve." – Upile Chisala