Self Care Is An Act of Freedom

Friday, March 19, 2021


I recently experienced what I have started calling "Freedom Day." Freedom Day has now replaced a traditional self-care day for me. I'm not even sure if I will be able to capture the joy from that day in this post, but I definitely want to try so that you can plan your own!

I use the word "plan" loosely, because for some reason, I wasn't able to create an "itinerary" for this day. And y'all know me, lol - if I don't do anything else, ima have a plan! I just couldn't do it. I knew I was going to be checking into Aloft Durham Downtown and I knew that I was going to get a massage, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't decide what else I wanted to do for this day.

 Here's what I learned in my inability to create a plan:

What I learned is that I am allowed to be free from the burden and pressures of structure. I don't have to be anxious in the absence of a plan. I can [and am allowed to] have joyful experiences - I can choose to explore rather than stick to an itinerary.

So! In the absence of a plan, here are some of the things I did and places I explored:

- Put my phone on DND and turned off all of my social notifications (they're still off).

- Received a 90 minute massage from Susan at Bull City Massage Therapy. Those 90 minutes felt much more like five, but my body needed every second!

- Checked into Aloft Durham Downtown! Yall. They gave me the BEST room with the BEST views of Downtown Durham. The sweet staff (special shoutout to Chelsea, Wesley and Ronnie!) made sure that I was taken care of - from the perfect room, to the strongest drinks and a late check-out time for extra relaxation time...I literally can't wait to go back! If you're planning your own freedom day, Aloft is a 10/10 recommendation.

- Took pictures of the most random and beautiful things so that I could look back and feel the peace from this incredible day!

- Had lunch at Dames, got my favorite salted butter caramel icecream from The Parlour and danced in the park as if no one was watching.

It was a beautiful day and you deserve to have that type of day too! You deserve a freedom day. I want you to be free from the pressure of "planning" for this day, so here are 3 tips to have the experience you deserve:

  1. Allow yourself to wander. Even if you create a plan for the day, don't be married to it. Give yourself the space to explore where you are.
  2. Disconnect. Turn off your social notifications, put your phone on DND, etc. Let this day be just for YOU. Don't feel obligated to answer phone calls or text back - everyone/thing will be okay. 
  3. Walk around. Park your car and walk everywhere! Eliminate the barrier between you and the beauty around you - be willing to take it in and capture it (whether through an actual picture or a mental photo).

The way I view self-care has changed as a result of experiencing this day. I now know that self-care is an act of freedom. It's almost other-worldly. It's radical. It's selfish and it ought to be.

Go enjoy your self. 

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Affirmation of the Week

“You have always been a blessed thing, and goodness has no trouble finding you because goodness is what you deserve." – Upile Chisala