Maintaining Healthy Relationships in the Midst of Chaos

Thursday, June 25, 2020
Angelica Rich | The Strong Suit

As we all know, Miss Rona is still terrorizing us while we're simultaneously being reminded that we continue to be terrorized, killed, bullied and divided by a system that was never created to protect Black (or Brown) folks in the first place. Personally, every time I feel like I've caught my breath, something else gut punches me and knocks the wind out of me. 
Sis is tired and I am sis. 

In the midst of all of this, we've all had to figure out new ways to navigate relationships and still provide safe spaces for the people we love. As a true Enneagram 2 and a true extrovert, this has been a little more difficult for me than I was prepared for; but, my friends and I have tried our very best to make time for maintaining our relationships with one another as we grow through each and every change that this season continues to present. There are a few things that I've learned about maintaining healthy relationships during this time that I'd love to share with you!

Check on yourself before checking in with everyone else.
Right now, we are all collectively mourning so many things and we need the support of the people we love. HOWEVER COMMA, before you start trying to get in yo friends' business and you start going around tryna fix every body's stuff, make sure YOU are okay. Find new ways to cope with everything being thrown at you and don't compromise or ignore your own self preservation in order to take care of everyone else. Find new ways to create peace for yourself and make sure that when you start making space for the people you love, you have the capacity to do so.

Make "do you have the capacity right now?" a normal and comfortable part of your conversations.
I know we are all craving connection now more than ever; but, please make sure that you are being considerate of the space that people are needing in order to...figure everything out. Try not to get offended if folks don't have the capacity to talk to you or spend time with you in the moment. Respect the boundaries that your people are making as they work through processing all the things, and please don't make people feel guilty for setting those boundaries. Trust that they are showing you just how much they love you by taking space for themselves before they share space with you.

Find and create new ways to spend time with the people you love.
Though it's been challenging, finding new ways to share space with my people has been the best part of all of this! Here's a list of some of the creative, social-distancing approved ways that my friends and I have spent time and shared joy with each other in the last 3 months:
-picnics in the park (I'd never been on a picnic before COVID)
-sending random money for food/coffee just to show that we're thinking of each other
-walks on some of the beautiful trails in the RTP area
-virtual workout sessions and wine nights (or wine *'s been rough lol)
-LOTS of FaceTime dates

Just to name a few things! I hope that you're finding ways to stay connected during this time. And if you haven't found ways to make time for the folks you desire to share space with, show yourself some grace! You are not a bad person just because you don't have the capacity to balance everything that's happening and bringing your best self to your relationships.

Sending you joy and light -- hang in there!

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Affirmation of the Week

“You have always been a blessed thing, and goodness has no trouble finding you because goodness is what you deserve." – Upile Chisala