Maintaining Healthy Relationships in the Midst of Chaos

Thursday, June 25, 2020
Angelica Rich | The Strong Suit

As we all know, Miss Rona is still terrorizing us while we're simultaneously being reminded that we continue to be terrorized, killed, bullied and divided by a system that was never created to protect Black (or Brown) folks in the first place. Personally, every time I feel like I've caught my breath, something else gut punches me and knocks the wind out of me. 
Sis is tired and I am sis. 


In the midst of all of this, we've all had to figure out new ways to navigate relationships and still provide safe spaces for the people we love. As a true Enneagram 2 and a true extrovert, this has been a little more difficult for me than I was prepared for; but, my friends and I have tried our very best to make time for maintaining our relationships with one another as we grow through each and every change that this season continues to present. There are a few things that I've learned about maintaining healthy relationships during this time that I'd love to share with you!

Check on yourself before checking in with everyone else.
Right now, we are all collectively mourning so many things and we need the support of the people we love. HOWEVER COMMA, before you start trying to get in yo friends' business and you start going around tryna fix every body's stuff, make sure YOU are okay. Find new ways to cope with everything being thrown at you and don't compromise or ignore your own self preservation in order to take care of everyone else. Find new ways to create peace for yourself and make sure that when you start making space for the people you love, you have the capacity to do so.

Make "do you have the capacity right now?" a normal and comfortable part of your conversations.
I know we are all craving connection now more than ever; but, please make sure that you are being considerate of the space that people are needing in order to...figure everything out. Try not to get offended if folks don't have the capacity to talk to you or spend time with you in the moment. Respect the boundaries that your people are making as they work through processing all the things, and please don't make people feel guilty for setting those boundaries. Trust that they are showing you just how much they love you by taking space for themselves before they share space with you.

Find and create new ways to spend time with the people you love.
Though it's been challenging, finding new ways to share space with my people has been the best part of all of this! Here's a list of some of the creative, social-distancing approved ways that my friends and I have spent time and shared joy with each other in the last 3 months:
-picnics in the park (I'd never been on a picnic before COVID)
-sending random money for food/coffee just to show that we're thinking of each other
-walks on some of the beautiful trails in the RTP area
-virtual workout sessions and wine nights (or wine *days...it's been rough lol)
-LOTS of FaceTime dates

Just to name a few things! I hope that you're finding ways to stay connected during this time. And if you haven't found ways to make time for the folks you desire to share space with, show yourself some grace! You are not a bad person just because you don't have the capacity to balance everything that's happening and bringing your best self to your relationships.

Sending you joy and light -- hang in there!




Black Owned Businesses for Event Planning

Saturday, June 13, 2020

I've put together a list of Black Owned Businesses that will help make your Event Planning journey a little easier! Some I know personally, some suggested by friends...either way, I know that each and every business on this list is ready and waiting to make your event the talk of the town. Most of these businesses are in or near the Triangle and Triad areas; but, there are a few other areas represented as well. Wherever you are, tell 'em The Busy Bre sent ya!

Event Planners + Decor:
Pictured: Sabrina Seymore Events

Cakes + Desserts:
Pictured: Confections by Kee


Apparel + Personalized Gifts:

Anonymous Apparel Company

Photographers + Videographers
Pictured: The Slim Creative

DJs:



8 Tips for Planning a Wedding...In a Week

Friday, June 12, 2020
 8 Tips for Planning a Wedding in a Week

For anyone who is new to my blog or my life, something about me is that I LOVE event planning! From Vision Board parties and Christmas Galas, to Birthday and Graduation celebrations and beyond. Most recently, I had the pleasure of working with one of my aunties, Janelle (click for access to her blog), and my sweet friend Tricey, to plan a beautiful and intimate wedding for 2 of our dear friends...in FIVE DAYS.


You absolutely read that right. We planned a wedding in five days and were able to share in the happy couple's special day in a very special way. I won't say that there wasn't any stress involved in these five days, but seeing it all come together was SO worth it.


I know we're living in some interesting times right now, but the truth is, love and celebration are and always will be a priority for so many. Even in the midst of a pandemic, people are desiring to find ways to commemorate their union in a memorable way! Unfortunately, a lot of people had to cancel the weddings they'd spent so long planning and aren't sure what to do since Miss Rona came through and messed up everyone's plans. So, my bomb team and I put together a few tips for anyone planning their wedding day on a strict timeline AND on a budget (if planning is not your forte, feel free to contact us and we would be honored to help you plan your special day). So, get your team together and let’s get to planning!

1. Create a Mood Board on Pinterest and create a plan for the next week -- A mood board is basically an electronic vision board! The purpose is to keep all of your thoughts, hopes and dreams organized as you plan. On Pinterest, you can create your board AND find inspo for your wedding. I've put together a Wedding Inspo board on Pinterest for you to use as an example! Make a checklist of the things you need to do so that you don't get overwhelmed or miss anything.

2. Use Amazon as much as possible, but also know that Amazon is not always the "cheapest" option -- I know, I know. Hearing that when you've received a new Amazon package everyday for the last 3 months is probably a shocker! But, for events such as a wedding, sometimes Amazon is not the most cost efficient. Don't count them out! We would just recommend that you do some comparison shopping, and look at places like Hobby Lobby for some of your DIY decor needs (*all of their wedding items are 50% off right now). 

*Something I would suggest purchasing from Amazon is one of these super cute wedding favors.

3. If you need to find a suit, a wedding dress or a bridesmaids dress for the wedding, do not sleep on Amazon or local Consignment Shops! Windsor is also a great place to find affordable bridesmaids dresses (all of their formal dresses are 50% off right now). 

4. Get your wedding cake from the grocery store. Listen, before you knock it...grocery stores like Publix have BOMB cakes, their bakery works with you to make sure you get what you envision, you pay a lot less than you would somewhere else AND the turn-around time is pretty quick. If you don't want an entire cake, a cupcake tower is also an option! Nothing Bundt Cakes is one of my personal faves (they have bundtinis - mini bundt cakes - 12 for $20).

5. Speaking of food! Trade in the full-course meal for hearty, filling appetizers and stationary hors d'oeuvres. Thanks to Chef Santos of Meez Market & Catering (who came through for us with less than a week's notice!), guests were able to indulge in a menu that included delicious crab cakes, addicting egg rolls and sweet chicken and waffle skewers...just to name a few! Despite not having a traditional, plated dinner, each guest (plus the bride and groom) left satisfied with bellies full. Create an appetizer menu with your favorites and find a chef who is able to make it happen - we definitely recommend Chef Santos if you're in the RTP area!

6. Chair covers and table cloths make any occasion more elegant and formal. You can find a good selection of tablecloths here. If you're in or near the RTP area, Capital Events is also a great place for these items -- chairs, chair covers, linens, etc. *Major tip: most chair covers that you order will only fit banquet chairs


7. Be flexible with your venue -- The bride and groom at this wedding had recently purchased a home and since they hadn't moved any furniture into their living/dining room spaces, they decided to celebrate their union in their new home! Maybe you didn't just purchase a home, but maybe you or someone you know has a nice backyard or maybe your apartment clubhouse is available to rent for events. Be willing to see the possibilities of your Wedding Day vision in spaces you might not have considered if the circumstances were different.

8. Be flexible with your guest list -- many of us have always dreamed of having a wedding with 100+ guests; but, a lot of people are choosing to have more intimate weddings with 50 people or less. There are a couple reasons for this: 1. this ensures that only your closest friends and family (the people you can trust to pour into your union) are in the room to celebrate you and your partner, and 2. this cuts down on costs significantly. An alternative to inviting everyone to physically attend your wedding, is to have them attend virtually via platforms like Zoom and Skype. Everyone gets to celebrate and you only have to feed the people that are there with you!

I know this seems like a lot to consider in a week's time! But whether you're a couple planning your wedding together or a friend putting together a special, last minute event, I hope that these tips are helpful.

Cheers to a day of love and celebration. Happy planning!

*These tips can be used in planning ANY event. 

Peace. BE STILL.



Welcome to The Busy Bre! I'm so glad that you're here. I hope that if you came with joy, that you leave with even more. If you came in the midst of a dark season, it is my prayer that you leave with some light to take with you. Either way, thank you for being here!

For those who don't know, I'm Bre; a 20-something, Jesus-loving, Beyonce-stanning, BarTaco-craving Black woman constantly on a journey to creating and sustaining lasting joy and peace in a world that sometimes lacks both.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that the reason for this rebrand is because I realized that I had been doing too much. If you know me, you know the following things about me: I live with anxiety, both my planner and phone calendar are ALWAYS full, I am always doing something and I do not know how to sit down...ever. The reason I initially started blogging, and the reason that I originally created flawBless.com (my former blog name), was out of my crippling fear of not having anything to do (or a structure) post-graduation. I was afraid of the adjustment I'd have to make once my identity was no longer tied to the institution of education (I talk about my post-grad experience here). After wrestling with God (He told me to do this months before quarantine started) and recognizing that I was using a busy lifestyle to cope with anxiety and fear (oh and after being forced into quarantine), I realized that I had to rebrand; my blog, my life...alluhit. I no longer wanted my gifts to be attached to fear. I no longer wanted to run from or be crippled by change.


In the midst of a global pandemic and a mandated stay-at-home order, God literally forced me still. It was real "I said what I said-ish," ya know? He required me to sit still because I needed to learn how to adjust and adapt to not having a calendar full of events and meetings and everything else. He needed me to refuel and find peace and solace in just...being. He needed me to refuel so that I could fulfill the assignment He has on my life without constantly being burnt out. During this time, God has given me the opportunity to make space for myself, the 'Busy Bre' personified. 

I refuse to come out of this period of pandemic, social injustice and political unrest the same way that I went into it. This blog is my first step. The purpose of The Busy Bre is to be a lifestyle blog that helps folks find the blessings in their imperfections while maintaining a busy lifestyle. In order for me to model that mission, I am learning that my ability to plan events, be available to the people I love, serve others and everything else, are gifts; but, if I abuse these gifts, I will drain myself and will be no good to those I'm connected to. I'm committed to being a good steward over my gifts.

I hope you know how grateful I am to share this new and improved space with you. Let's grow together.

P.S. BLACK LIVES MATTER.
 

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Affirmation of the Week

“You have always been a blessed thing, and goodness has no trouble finding you because goodness is what you deserve." – Upile Chisala