Insecure Debrief: Girl, GET. UP!

Friday, September 28, 2018


“Girl, GET UP!” “Bruh, if you don’t get up outta that bed and get yourself together!” “Bruhhhhhhh!?!”

These are just a few things I caught myself yelling at the screen during last Sunday’s episode of Insecure. As I watched Issa start and end her days sulking about some man and I watched her entire character change over the lack of response/communication from a guy who’d gotten her hopes up, I realized that Issa was me. Well…Issa was publicizing the girl that I was last year and the year before that and the year bef—you get the point.


For almost 4 years, I was that girl that waited on a text from the man that I thought would be my husband; but, the funniest part is that while I was waiting on a text back, I was also waiting on him to commit to me as a boyfriend. Yeah, you read that right! I spent 4 years living in desperation for a man that couldn’t even commit to a relationship with me. As I watched Insecure, I was yelling at that girl because she found her worth in a man that wasn’t capable of seeing my value. I was yelling at the girl who was willing to settle for the bare minimum. My heart genuinely hurts for that girl that was literally (like literally) begging someone to be with her. And why? All because I wanted to be good enough for someone who was only meant to be temporary.


So, I’ve had 4 WHOLE years to come up with tips on how to get you through the season of being “that girl” (or guy because men experience heartbreak too) – we’ll call it, The Season of Insecurity (word to Issa Rae).

#1 – Don’t be consumed by what DIDN’T happen. I know you had plans of marrying that person. I know you had names picked out for the children you’d talked about; but, just because it didn’t happen with them, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen…it’s just not going to happen with that person. And THAT’S OKAY!

 #2 – Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), but remain open to the relationships in your life that are thriving right now. Do not allow the failure of this relationship/situationship to make your heart hard. Work twice as hard to maintain your vulnerability as you did in attempt to maintain a bare minimum situation. Do not cancel out love altogether because one situation didn’t go as planned.

#3 – Being single is NOT a punishment. Being single is the perfect time to figure out who you are and to become WHOLE. Don’t allow the absence of a relationship to make you lose sight of what you’ve been called to do. What will YOU bring to the table when God brings you your person?


#4 – Learn your love language(s). Think about the things that should’ve been non-negotiables in your last relationship and define them as ABSOLUTELY NOTs in the future. How do you need your next partner to love you in order for you to feel appreciated? Take the Quiz!

#5 – GET UP, GIRL! Stop sitting around waiting for a phone call that may never come (and if it does come, hit ignore). Remember that the person God has for you will not need to be chased. Your love is worth more than rubies and is worth the wait.

YOU ARE THE PRIZE. LOVE WILL FIND YOU; SO STOP SETTLING FOR THESE WACK NEGROS THAT AIN'T READY FOR ALL THE LOVE YOU HAVE TO GIVE! KNOW YASELF, KNOW YA WORTH! Mkaaay?

In the mean time, I'm here if you need me!


With Blessings & Imperfections,
Bre


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“You have always been a blessed thing, and goodness has no trouble finding you because goodness is what you deserve." – Upile Chisala